Okay, I admit it… I am a self-proclaimed fixer. When relationships go haywire, I feel like I have to fix them—even if the person is a jerk and clearly in the wrong. Now you know there’s something wrong with that. Of course, the best place to start fixing is the person in the mirror. And, even if you need a lot of fixing, it’s always easier to start with yourself. I tend to be in denial. It is always easier to blame someone else.
Are you a fixer?
Are you one of those people who perceive you have to make things right – so you keep trying? I’m not talking about everyday “stuff” – a leaky faucet, a cracked sidewalk, a broken table leg. I’m talking people. I’ve always been a fixer. Things go wrong in a relationship and I always feel obligated to be the fixer – to make things right – having to find a way to make things right. Sometimes – things just cannot be fixed because it takes at least two people to make it work.
Does this ever happen to you?
I thought so.
Hard coming to terms with yourself let alone others.
Fixing is always best handled on a personal level to where you can work your own issues instead of focusing on someone else’s. Let them handle that themselves. Easy to talk about, hard to do. Whenever I keep having the same issue with different people, I am compelled to look in the mirror. Perhaps I might need to work on self improvement. When you have Attention Deficit Disorder and things are decidedly scattered, you’re always a work in progress.
Boomers tend to be a self-absorbed bunch though we fuss about young people. “Damned millennials…” we keep repeating. However, young people tend to see things more clearly because they have fresh eyes and the beauty of youth. Isn’t that what we said 50 years ago? We were going to change the world!
Boomers lament growing older. However, there’s a certain beauty and benefit to growing old. We are long on wisdom we didn’t have at 25. We come to realize at this age what we’re never going to be able to fix – and perhaps it’s just not up to us to fix it. Let someone else manage the situation and work on it. Let them reach out to you. And – if they don’t, you never had them to begin with.
Time to let them go…
What’s more, at our age, we should realize we’ve had our time in the sun and it is time to let the young carry the torch. We’ve gone the distance and survived—some of us more than others. It is my hope you are surrounded by friends and family who love and admire you. Makes the going easier.