Anyone Living A Hallmark Movie?

What is it with men…and women…and Hallmark movies? Unless you are a particularly sensitive man, a Hallmark movie probably isn’t in the cards for your holiday weekend. You’d rather be watching pro football or “Magnum Force” with Clint Eastwood. You and your spouse are going to be viewing flat screens in separate rooms.

I consider myself a sensitive man. I cry at emotional moments in the news and in some movies. I am deeply affected by what happens to others. I am in touch with my feminine side. I get what’s up with women – and there are times when I just don’t – and I fall into the ranks of most men.

Completely clueless…

Face it, Bro’ – if you’re like most of us, you know you are completely clueless about the female gender. Like most men, you cannot get why she gets upset when you haven’t brought her flowers in months. I try to be attentive to a woman’s needs. However, there are times when I fall into the ranks of most men.

Whaaaaaat?

I admit I’ve tried to stay the course watching Hallmark movies. I have actually watched Hallmark movies all the way through though I sometimes fall asleep before it’s over. I do know it always snows at the end. There are some conflicts between men and women – however, it’s just too perfect for me. Never seen a Hallmark movie with a divorce or two people who meet who’ve just been through divorces.

Divorces just don’t happen at Hallmark. Always a happy ending…

I like a movie with a touch of reality scripted in – like a heated disagreement over Scotch Pine or Douglas-fir in a Christmas tree lot to put in front of the living room window. Something more realistic – closer to real life – instead of, “That’s okay, Darling…” Couples just don’t do that. They argue, disagree, and fight.

With any luck, they make up.

Men just don’t get choked up over a couple in a mountain resort or small-town Mid-America (though, I think most Hallmark movies are filmed in Canada). We like a touch of excitement, like Lee Marvin beating up the tough guys in “The Dirty Dozen” or De Niro and Pacino matching wits in “Heat.” We like to exercise our manhood via action-adventure movies where we don’t get wounded yet talk like we could take these guys on. It is easy to be bold on your living room sofa.

7 thoughts on “Anyone Living A Hallmark Movie?”

  1. My husband will watch Hallmark movies with me. He prefers sports and Game of Thrones. But he doesn’t mind watching sappy shows and movies.

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  2. We have Hallmark Movies and Mysteries streaming. For the cardboard acting and bad dialog mysteries. What kills me about Hallmark is how interchangeable the men are. One aging underwear model for another. Or occasionally somebody who was somebody in the 80s. The women are all overdone and next door to attractive. Not a Myrna Loy et al among them. The best part is how a librarian or a baker or a candlestick maker, professor, archeologist, all single, live in spotless, modern compounds while very gay looking perfectly bearded hair dyed guys puppy dog the happy go lucky women. Talk about women’s world business. The rest of it, all the ‘a place for his boner’ holiday romance novel tropes (tripe?) are complete polyolefin fabrications. We are not supposed to understand them. They are not for us. I did see one last year I enjoyed, a fish out of water time portal number where grumpy young king to be 400 hundred years ago ends up in the snowy city because his mission was to find true love. The associated pratfalls, while predictable, were still fun, the girl wasn’t a toothy blonde from yesteryear and the you guy looked a little more rugged, like maybe a college jock named after a rifle and a cowboy hat.
    The good thing about interchangeability in the men that one night dude is somebody’s hubby, and in another danger Barbie and hapless Ken series he’s a bad uncle sitting in jail.
    Total fantasy, and not for men. Except for nights when you can pay just enough attention not to snore,

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