December 20, 1923….Lillian Amanda Proctor-Smart….my mother. She would have been 100 today. She passed at 84 in 2008 from dementia. Lillian was a native-born Washington girl who came of age at a time when we were entering a world war and D.C. was about to change dramatically. She was raised to be strong.
By anyone’s standards my mother was a hottie – beautiful. She had survived tuberculous after six long months in bed. In that time – she had a lot of time to think about life outside of her bedroom window. She grew up in Washington, Arlington, and Falls Church. She worked for Arlington County on Courthouse Hill. She was also employed by the C&P Telephone Company and the Department of Agriculture before settling into married life. Her background as an operator served her well. She taught us telephone etiquette. And God help us if we didn’t use it.
My mother was reared by Lt. Paul W. Proctor and my grandmother – Anne K. Proctor. My grandfather was solid integrity. He had a career spanning decades with the Metropolitan Washington Police Department and The White House Police Force. He served under several administrations including FDR and Truman.
My granddaddy retired in 1946 in the wake of a heart attack and settled in Arlington across from Fort Myer. My mother was surely of my grandfather and raised us the same way he raised her. She was always my conscience. Whenever a sentence began with “Now Jamie…” or “Honey…you need to think about this…” I knew she was right. She was my greatest friend – my bestie – for more than a half century. When I was losing my mind at 3 a.m. well into adulthood, she had the broadest shoulders. She listened…
My mother always said, “In the end, we’re all responsible for our own lives…” She was correct – and – at times it was frightening. We are indeed responsible for our own lives.
She raised us well.
Today – I present my mother in a Celebration of Life she has long deserved. She stood by all of us no matter what we were going through. I’ve had some mighty tough times as an adult. Through it all – she stood by me. She didn’t always tell me what I wanted to hear – but let me know what I needed to hear. To toughen up…
She spoke from her own life. She never had it easy. She watched my uncle head off to the war in the Pacific for four long years. My Uncle Wayne came home a different man from what he’d been through. He was a Marine through and through. He and my aunt raised two terrific men – my cousins. John served with C&P Telephone and Steve with the Maryland State Police.
My mother had a tough time conceiving my sisters and me. She and our birth father were married from 1948-1957. It took her several years to conceive and with a lot of help from fertility experts who did what they could to help.
We arrived in 1953, 1956, and 1959. It worked…
Anyone who knew Mom knew they had a great friend and cohort in crime. She had a terrific sense of humor and a sharp mind. She remained strong throughout her life and was hardened by life – yet she never lost her ability to love.
She married Jack Smart in March of 1958. Together – they raised us and made us feel safe and protected. She always went to bat for us. In the late 1980s, she began the long descent into Dementia. In 1987, she and our dad left D.C. and retired to Maryland’s Eastern Shore. I was not always sure she liked it there. They lived there until each passed in 2001 and 2008 respectively.
I have missed my mother terribly through the years. She passed on June 20, 2008 peacefully in her sleep. I will always miss our chats. Reared in Washington, she knew politics. That was her favorite subject. This is where I got my love of politics for better or worse.
I come by it honestly.
Today….we honor my mother’s memory, her love of family, and her engaging demeanor. I will forever love you, Mom.
Boomer Journey... 