Boomers like to wax nostalgic about the good old days. We had our youth and dreamed of the future.
We didn’t have our grandchildren…
It isn’t often I like to write about my own life because few really want to hear about it. I’ve had good fortune. I have also lived through tough times where I never thought I’d make it. I was weak when I needed to be strong. Yet – I’ve grown stronger from tough times and used these experiences to help others. It feels good to be supportive of others through tough times so they may become stronger – knowing someone cared. Makes the heart happy.
Among my blessings are my children – all grown – and my grandchildren. I’ve navigated tough times with my grown children through effective communication and forgiveness, with forgiveness being a key component. I am also a late-in-life parent with an adopted son coming of age in high school. He arrived when I was 52.
I’ve never been a great father, but I’ve learned a lot from poor judgment and decisions I’d like a second shot at again. Hindsight is always 20/20. I have a lot to answer for – and yet my family stands by me to this day.
This is what love is.
Grandsons Everett, Braden, Elton, and Avery during a recent visit to Tennessee. LEGOs remote control toys, and video games. The things boys are made of.
The toughest part about raising children and grandchildren is – they don’t stay this way for very long. With the fluid precision of time, they grow up, become independent, evolve into adults, and move on. They start families and get on with their lives. If you are very blessed, they stick around and still want your company.
As parents, we tend to forget our primary purpose – to care for, mentor, and raise responsible human beings and to bolster them with love. I believe children should never have to worry.
They must come first.
My mother was an excellent example of how to help a child feel safe. My grandfather – her father – set the same example. He was a retired law enforcement officer who understood consequences. He showed us love and security. However, when he glared at you across a room, you’d better walk away clean. He never spanked us once. One look was all it took.
I was raised by good people who knew how to set a proper example. They practiced what they preached, even when it was no fun. Being a good parent is doing the things you’d rather not do. It also means tough love – allowing your children to suffer the consequences of their decisions so they don’t have to go through worse later on.
The hard part about tough love is what it does to you deep inside. Every time I’ve ever had to really punish my kids, watched their tears, listened to their words, it has always allowed me to examine my own judgment. Was it too harsh? Will it have long-term consequences? Are they going to hate me?
Oh yes – they are always going to hate us but will hopefully thank us in time.
Grandson, Truitt, born in March. Remarkable how much he resembles his father (my son, Brendan), my mother, my grandfather, and my late uncle.
Boomer Journey... 