
Okay – we’ve come this far as the generation that remembers great hazardous toys and the enjoyment before they were outlawed. Look – we grew up in cars with steel dashboards void of safety belts, crush zones, air bags – with the added benefit of unlimited power window travel, and those short-lived Mercury and Lincoln sedans with the power rolldown rear backlite glass where the coolest kids crawled out onto the trunk lid at 70 mph. These dare devils fell off the car, and the rest of us smart enough not to got on with our lives.
Why would dangerous toys scare us? These dangerous toys had a high thrill quotient – a few seconds of fear followed by the added benefits of injury.
“WOW! Let me try that!!!”
Let’s look at a few of them. Lawn Darts are at the top of the list of dangerous toys for the foolish. You’d shoot the darned things up in the air and they would come down via gravity to a planned target in the soil. The perceived problem was accuracy. A lot of kids never had a planned target. They’d launch these things and they landed wherever they landed – sometimes into a kid’s shoulder, foot, or skull.
Not a good thing.
No accounting for wind direction. The rest of us who had some level of common sense at age seven knew to get out of the way.
Darwin, I am afraid, also applies to children.
Yo-Yo Water Balls, much to my amazement, also lead the list. This is one of those toys where parents require some common sense. Yo-Yo Water Balls are colorful, fluid filled water balls with slingshot capability. They can also be slung around like a lasso and thrown. Lots of potential for eye injuries, facial bruising, and choking. “Choking,” you say? Yes, choking… The cord attached to the Yo-Yo ball can wrap around a child’s neck causing strangulation.
Ironically, Yo-Yo Water Balls are still being sold around the globe.

Playground architects obviously did not understand gravity and putting a kid 12 feet in the air in this high-impact pastime.
Aqua Dots are yet another considered hazardous toy because they contain a date rape drug known as GHB. Not for human consumption, but always some stupid kid in the neighborhood who would try to drink the fluid. “What’s wrong with Joey – he isn’t making any sense?”
What could go wrong with a Cabbage Patch doll – those cute little stuffed dolls kids wandered around with during the 1980s? Of course, too much of a good thing – the Snacktime Cabbage Patch Doll pulled from store shelves due to its chewing mechanism along with caught fingers and hair.
Small parts in toys were always fair game for the child safety authorities. Children would try to swallow these parts with catastrophic results. Sharp edges were good for blood on the living room carpet. Lead and asbestos in toys led to illness and unexplained deaths. Boomers grew up with all of it – and most of us are still here.
Of course the biggest insult is playground equipment. It has been a while since I’ve taken my son and grandchildren to the park, but the last time was disappointing. Whatever happened to monkey bars, jungle gyms, see-saws, merry-go-rounds, swings, sandboxes, stainless steel sliding boards, and hard concrete?
Merry-Go-Rounds were good for great fun, getting thrown off, and vomiting from motion sickness. Kids, laughing hysterically, would jump off and toss their lunchtime cookies all over the playground. Or…bleeding profusely, would run home crying.
What harm could a sandbox cause? That stuff we didn’t recognize. We’re play in the sand, put our hands in our mouths, and become sick from the microorganisms in the sand. We couldn’t see these little creatures so what harm could they cause? Cats in the neighborhood would relieve themselves in the sand and leave a gift.
Swing sets were always good for high impact potential. We’d swing as high as we could, with no regard for the dangers – nor care. If the swing sets were poor maintained, a chain would break, or we’d tag a finger on a rusty bolt. This was when we learned about tetanus and the sting of our first tetanus shot.
Sliding boards were a learn as you go experience. At high noon, we’d learn. We’d plant our skinny butts on that third-degree burn heat of stainless steel in the hot summer sun and find out. For an extra added attraction, we took Mom’s wax paper and worked the surface for a high-speed descent to the firmament. It was great fun until you descended at a rate of 180 mph and landed on the hot asphalt.
When we ran out of ideas, there was always Dad’s toolbox in the garage…..




















