I’m Too Sexy For My…Compression Socks?!

This is the gorilla in the bedroom no one wants to talk about – especially men. It is time to address aging and why it doesn’t have to be so rough. The “sum gain…” day trader game of the 1980s has evolved into the “lucky if there’s no net loss…” of the new Millennium – which, by the way, isn’t so new anymore. Y2K is long over.

We are 23 years into the 21st century wondering what happened. I will tell you what happened – the passage of time… With time has come the natural aging process boomers like to deny is happening. Blame it on genetics. Pass it along to your kids and grandkids. We begin aging from the time we are born. It is said we peak somewhere in our twenties – then – the slow decline toward “old” begins unless you are taking really good care of yourself. We are big on talking about it – but not very effective at managing it.

The news isn’t all bad. With our advancing years comes a treasure trove of wisdom – that is if we’re wise enough to use it.

I see these commercials promoting “age defying” makeup and other anti-aging, memory improvement products and I break into laughter. I’ve been 30 and I’ve been 67 and 30 was better – kind of… At 67, I’m not what I was by any means. My joints hurt. Tendinitis generates its share of pain in regions where I’ve never had pain before. My “where are my glasses?” moments kicked into high gear at 65. I suffer from “profound” hearing loss from my years as an automotive writer and aircraft technician. Lots of noise in both professions.

I suspect because boomers craved those loud concerts in our youth as well as drag racing on Saturday nights, a whole lot of you suffer from hearing loss and the horrible ringing of tinnitus – especially when the room is dead quiet and you’re longing for any kind of noise.

Despite these woes, I seek to find the good in all of it. For one thing, at 60+ you’re no longer chasing the corporate ladder and feel confident of your own observations. You feel less inclined to ask others for their opinion. In fact, you stop giving a damn what others think and start relying on your own time-proven judgment. Be prepared to make stupid mistakes. You’ve been making them all of your life. I’d like to think I have learned from them and can impart this wisdom to those who are younger who may learn from my experiences.

Share this knowledge and feel good about it.

There is a wealth of good fortune to be had in old age. We just have to cultivate it. Your younger counterparts generally come to you for advice instead of their younger associates. They look to your wisdom instead of the inexperienced.

At 60+, we are less tolerant of trivial BS than we used to be – yet more accepting of things as they are. It is what it is…

In old age, I’ve come to understand the only person I can hope to change is myself instead of the frustration of trying to change others. I’ve cultivated empathy for others – which comes from experiences along the way and watching what happens to others. In our advancing years, it becomes easier to put your arm around someone who is troubled. It feels good to reach out and care for another. It is good for them and even more important for you. You’re inclined to be a better caregiver than you used to be because you understand what it’s like to be dependent on others.

Because we are the “Sexual Revolution” generation (we still believe we invented sex), we begin to wonder what happened to our sexual libido, which begins to fade as we grow older. Older couples in healthy relationships are learning sex doesn’t have to end at 60. I’ve known couples who’ve been sexually active well into their seventies. There’s the rare exception where couples are still going at it well into their eighties. And no matter how old you become; your mental libido can remain quite strong. Visit any bar, park bench, or country club and you will find men who still have “it” upstairs. The challenge is what isn’t happening downstairs.

Sexual libido varies significantly from one person to the next. Men and women alike both go through some form of menopause. Women experience the change of life to where intercourse becomes uncomfortable. Men lose the ability to maintain an erection. This varies from person to person depending on a preferences and circumstances. Libido is also affected by unending medical conditions, hormone levels, medications, your lifestyle, and relationship health. What happens outside the bedroom affects what happens in the bedroom.

Couples who have had a enduring healthy relationship to begin with have found good healthy sex doesn’t have to mean sexual intercourse. They find there’s excitement to be found in touch, kissing, oral sex, and “the tease…” Ambiance and atmosphere are everything in intimacy. The best intimacy comes from a nice evening out over dinner, flirting with one another over good food and drink, and the slow ride home. Slow down and take your time.

Make not hurry…it’s going to be good when you get there.

Older couples have come to find they like to quietly reflect and remember what it was like to be young – especially for those of you who’ve been together a lifetime. Mentally take your bride to the senior prom again. Remember what it was like to look at your handsome stud muffin in a tux. Reflect upon that first night in a hotel room or your parent’s guest room having a glorious time with your pants down and your bra off.

Loosen up, let your guard down, and worship one another. It is easy if you try – and forget about that stupid argument you had this morning.

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