Things I Just Don’t Understand About California

Do you remember when the Ricardo’s and the Mertz’s headed off to California in a ’55 Pontiac convertible singing “California Here I Come…” for a new adventure and the launch of Ricky’s movie career?

Ah – the Golden State, the mass migration West, and our endless national obsession with this place.

I am an East Coast boy lost in a place called Los Angeles. There are things I will never understand about California and I’ve been here 30 years. I am still adjusting to the place.

I am a native-born Washingtonian birthed in our Nation’s Capital during a rare March blizzard in 1956. I heard about my birth and the big snowstorm dozens of times from my mother. Not a darned thing I could do about the weather and my premature arrival. I was supposed to be a spring baby.

I’ve been in 49 out of 50 states and I’ve lived in eight of them. Now that’s a lot of moving.

I’ve had the good fortune of traveling from coast to coast and experiencing the many different cultures there are across the vastness of our United States. The only state I haven’t visited is North Dakota, which I intend to visit soon. Head for Minnesota and turn left.

I have lived in Florida and swatted mosquitoes, gnats, and love bugs. I do remember Oklahoma’s tornado warnings and stunning hailstorms. I’ve shoveled snow and scraped ice off car windows in Detroit. I’ve also lived in the South and attempted to understand that “queeeeit!!!” means “quit!!!”

I will never understand California.

Of all the places I’ve been, I’ve found California to be most unique – more different than any place I’ve ever been. Unique in a good way – and also quite unique in a not-so-good way. California was once a vast paradise until World War II ended and our troops came home from the Pacific. They were on their way home to thousands of destinations where it rained and snowed and was either butt cold or steamy hot. They stepped off ships and planes here in Los Angeles and up north in San Francisco, and found California was the place they wanted to be.

What was not to like about this place? In the post-war years, California was a great place to grow up and grow old. California’s great climate and many incredible destinations within a day’s drive or a short plane ride made people flock here by the thousands. Plenty of jobs and careers were waiting. Aerospace and manufacturing were humming. New communities sprung up all over. Education was state-of-the-art. People felt safe in their neighborhoods. Officers Reed and Malloy (Adam 12) were cruising the streets and arresting the bad guys. There were block parties all over and people knew each other. Overall, people were nice to one another.

California has suffered from exploitation and misguided government if nothing else, which has contributed to its deterioration. Millions have come here – both legally and illegally – and used the place up. A once thriving California has succumbed to the oppression of overwhelming government, high taxes, and an outrageous cost of living. No one can afford to live here anymore. As a result, the masses are leaving California in droves for destinations like Idaho, Utah, Texas, Tennessee, Florida and the Carolinas bringing most of California’s social woes with them. Californians relocate to these places and lament the absence of elements they had in California.

In-N-Out Burger has responded to the exodus from California by erecting restaurants in Idaho, Texas, Tennessee, and others under consideration. It has responded to thousands of requests from transplants who miss a great burger, fries, and a shake for under ten bucks.

Now there’s a California trend we can live with.