Memories of Schoolyard Bullies (One Near You)

I speak from experience when I reflect upon the years I was bullied in school. I was a dorky awkward kid with glasses just short of being equipped with a pocket protector. Much of it can be attributed to the way my mother dressed me. She hadn’t a clue how to dress me.

In retrospect, it all seems superficial. At the time, it was horrible. 

Is this your story?

It is the story of a lot of kids through the ages. The world has changed significantly since we were all growing up in the fifties and sixties. When we were growing up, the only solution for a persistent bully was a bloody lip – a Ralphie moment (A Christmas Story) where you become psychotic from the emotional wear and tear and beat the living crap out of them.

We’ve become ridiculous when it comes to bullies to where we perceive we have to post “Bully Free Zone” signs all over schools to discourage bullying. This is some of that pop psychology rhetoric and what they’re doing in California. However, it does not stop bullying. Signs and even consequences on an official level won’t stop it. You can send bullies to the principal’s office – however, they will be waiting for your child on the street corner. 

They were always waiting for me. 

The best advice I can offer parents today is to teach your child self confidence and how to fight back. Instill confidence in them and show them what to do with a bully even at the risk of getting beaten up. To stand up to a bully will instill self confidence. It is important to never put their lives in danger – yet at the same time teach them to stand up for themselves. 

Of course, the best fight to get into is the one you avoid. It is important to never go looking for a fight. I learned that one the hard way. Teach your children how to defend themselves. I believe it is healthy to enroll your child in a self-defense class – Martial Arts, Boxing, Kick Boxing, or simple self-defense strategies designed to keep them safe. These forms of self defense are about self discipline, confidence, and survival. Kids also need to know how to escape to safety when things become dangerous. 

I am not qualified to give parental advice. However, as a parent of a 15-year-old (I am 67), I speak from experience. The greatest favor you can do your children is to instill self-confidence without allowing it to go to their heads. Let them bask in their own self-worth to where bullies don’t stand a chance and your kid will excel.  

Keep in mind bullying isn’t always physical, but largely mental. There’s social media where young people take an emotional beating. Teen suicides tend to be the result of social media bullying. 

I’ve found the teen years are a vulnerable age for young people. It has been a long time ago, but I’ve never forgotten my adolescence. It is an emotionally unstable time for a kid. You’re not a child anymore and you’re not an adult yet. As hormones change, emotional instability flares out of control. Anger. Rage. Depression. It is a time of change and emotional unrest. 

At 67, I am finding our sixth decade is a time of change emotionally just like our teen years were a lifetime ago. If you find yourself emotional and on the edge of tears at this time in your life, take heart because you’re in good company. We’re all going through it. When you are feeling so very much alone, it is a good time to be in the company of others and cultivate a good support system.