What’s Frustrating You and What to Do?

Conflict and chaos are the darnedest human elements. They keep people at odds. Some thrive on conflict and chaos. They live for it. However, if you desire peace and some level of smooth, understand what you have control over and what you do not. Self-control is dicey at best because we don’t always have control over our own emotions and actions. You have no control over others.

It is true that when you have humans and other living creatures, you’re going to have conflict. In the animal kingdom, it becomes well-defined. There are no misunderstandings. Animals communicate effectively and quickly – and often in violent terms when the weakest in the disagreement walks away with scar tissue and its tail between its legs. Message received.

Not everyone has the same approach or priorities, which fuels conflict. What’s important to you might not be important to someone else. This is especially true in the workplace and in our homes. Conflict exists in friendships, with work associates, in marriage, with our kids, an annoying neighbor, or anywhere there is politics.

Politics is little more than perception – what people believe and want. We apply the word “politics” to elected officials who earn a living and operate in the public trust – the politicians we loth. They will fight like hell to keep political power. Yet politics is the process of working through decision making in a group or groups involved in making important decisions that affect our lives. Ideally, you have a group of decision makers with the same vision operating for the greater good. Rarely does this work in reality. People generally want what they want when they want.

It is true conflict makes people uncomfortable. Few things fuel anxiety more than disagreement and conflict. It is challenging at best. Experts on this subject offer the following advice. It is human nature to take your marbles and go home rather than tangle with a difficult personality. The question is – do you confront a person seeking compromise or do you hit them in the head with a mallet? Seems everyone wants their own way – but life rarely works out that way.

One thing I learned the hard way is to practice cognitive thinking – how I respond to a situation. My very nature is to react instead of proacting. I can tell you that never works. When you’re dealing with an impossible jackass, reach inside and evaluate what is upsetting you and regroup. There are people you will reach compromise with – and impossible people to negotiate with. They want it all.

Sometimes, you have to cut your losses and move on.

Life is all about compromise if you want to get along with others. It is about human dynamics and whether you naturally dovetail or not. If you enjoy a good connection with an associate, it is easier to work through decisions with a spirit of compromise. The most important part of interaction is the ability to listen and really listen – something I’ve never been good at. Resist the urge to speak and instead – listen.

When you listen, you understand another’s point of view. When you understand, you develop empathy and begin to understand. With understanding, you develop a strong connection – and without conflict. You’re not always going to agree on the issues but understanding leads to respect and empathy. Without empathy and mutual respect, it doesn’t work, which is when you have to decide what’s next.