When It Just Doesn’t Work Out…

At this time in life we’re inclined to do a lot of reflecting.  Our successes.  Our failures.  Our regrets…  Disappointing business ventures.  Relationships that ended badly.  Families torn apart.   

I’ve found life doesn’t always work out as we had hoped.  We look back and think “if only I had it to do over again…”  Odds are we would probably do it the same way all over again. Regrets are that nagging emotion that gnaws at your soul and eats away at your life.  Guilt and regret rob you of inner peace and tranquility.  A good way to handle regret is to examine what happened, acknowledge your responsibility, and find a path to forgiving yourself – and others. 

Self forgiveness is a tough one because I’ve never been any good at it nor have I been any good at forgiving others. I dwell endlessly. However,  I believe we should learn from our past experiences and apply what we’ve learned to what we do in the future.

Easier said than done…

Much of what we become depends upon how we were raised growing up. If you grew up in a turbulent household, you’re probably on edge most of the time. Your childhood may have included an abusive parent or grandparent – someone who damaged your self worth. It all set the stage for the adult you have become.

We don’t put enough emphasis on child rearing. “Kids are resilient…” is a lot of hogwash. It’s the memories they either treasure or the bitter memories that haunt. Children who grow up in dysfunctional households will likely be dysfunctional as adults. Mentally abused kids tend to grow up to be mentally abusive adults unless they’re firmly committed to never treating their kids as they were treated.

When you’re raising a child, you’re setting the die for what your child will become as an adult. If you instill positive thinking into a child, they will be positive and excel. If you foster doom and gloom, chances are your child will always see life in a negative darkness.

I speak from experience.

It takes an extraordinary person to fly out of the darkness and see life with positivity. Human beings are creatures of habit.  We like what’s familiar—even when it is toxic and unhealthy to our wellbeing.  It isn’t good to remain in a comfortable rut. Even the worst of relationships becomes habit.  Perhaps you’re amid unhealthy, destructive patterns.  You might be emotionally tied to a physically or mentally abusive person.  Maybe you haven’t been able to give up smoking, drug use, nervous nibbling, or sexual addiction.  Whatever the issue, you have to find the means to break free from it and become healthy.

Whatever your struggle, the best place to start is at the beginning. Don’t try to eat an elephant all in one sitting. Take your struggles in small steps. Don’t let the setbacks slow you down. Tenacity is everything to achieving the goal.

Fake it until you make it, then you will get it.

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