Thought I would take this Boomer Journey to something a little more personal – friendships lost… When you reach our ages, you’ve had your share of personal losses. Friends grow ill and pass. They move away. We drift apart.
Sometimes, it’s as fundamental as a difference of opinion – the deal breaker.
In more recent times, in a politically inflammatory environment, I’ve lost friends over political differences – the inability to respect one another’s differences and the being able to agree to disagree. I’ve learned – the hard way – there are some who cannot live with a difference of opinion to where they go away overnight. Their political beliefs eclipsed a lifetime friendship and enduring brotherhood.
A friendship gone…
I enjoy a wealth of great friends all over the country – just not many locally. We are friends long distance. We stay in touch via the email, texting, and the phone. Due to the very nature of living in Los Angeles, we find the place really is a great big freeway. If you have a buddy or a date two hours away, you are “geographically undesirable…” because no one wants to sit in traffic for two hours just to see you.
I live on Southern California’s high desert near Edwards Air Force Base, three miles from Palmdale Air Force Plant 42 – which is a defense factory and home to Boeing, Northrup, and Lockheed some 62 miles, or two hours, north of Los Angeles.
Los Angeles is a most unusual metropolis. The city limits within the County of Los Angeles run vast – from the huge L.A. basin into the San Fernando Valley on the other side of the mountains. It extends East to San Bernardino and on out into the low desert and Palm Springs. You can drive 100 miles and still be in Los Angeles.
I have ADHD so bear with me. I’ve found friendship can be enduring where friends become extended family, and there are acquaintances who come and go. There are people we work with for decades who fade away upon retirement or a job change. There are also neighbors who come and go – the traditional block parties, sharing growing families, and the enduring friendships like the Ricardos and the Mertz’s.
Wouldn’t it be nice if life was like the Ricardos and the Mertz’s? Though fictional, this tenant/landlord relationship that became extended family felt so good despite their occasional dustups. They always found a way to make peace and go on.
In truth, this rarely happens in real life, especially these days. Once close-knit communities have been replaced by suburbia, jet travel, the interstate highway system, and careers that have taken people far from where they grew up. We stay in touch via email and text messaging. We jet out to see childhood friends and family, and before you know it, it is time to fly home. I am a continent away from where I grew up, with a career that took me to Los Angeles a lifetime ago.
I remain in touch with childhood friends and those I served with in the military – enduring friendships that have lasted a lifetime. We’re all a little grayer with turkey necks and character lines. However, our connections have never wavered. There are those we go for years and never hear from – and reconnect and pick up where we left off – true friendships.
When I think of friendships lost, I think of the greatest friendship I’ve ever had – my friend and brother in arms. I will call him Karl. We were the very best of friends and for 45 years, that is until the current toxic political environment tore us apart.
I can tell you I am a centrist – liberal about some things and largely conservative about others. I believe in toting your own weight and finding your own way. I also believe in helping others – those who cannot fend for themselves. I also understand right from wrong. That said, I ask – when did right become wrong and wrong become right? At what point did we lose our way?
I’d like to hear your stories…
Boomer Journey... 
I discovered long ago to remain friends, leave politics and religion on the table. even when asked. You’re Catholic? Yes. Pretty much end of discussion unless there’s a tale of commonality. Politics? I was in the music business for 40 plus years. I grew up in the oil fields of Oklahoma, I’m a disheartened moderate. But that’s a far as I’ll go with it. I have a dear friend who thinks women’s rights are mens’ business. I say hm and move on to why can’t the Cowboys get out of their own way. because the friendship is more valuable than an opinion. I know geezers who will argue about music. Or art. Gimme a break. There was music before and after Led Zeppelin. If nothing’s at stake, or it’s op-ed time? Go for it. But these days’ it’s not worth getting shot because an adult who is screwing up the whole parking lot process by being too important to read the traffic arrows in front of the gas pumps at Sam’s? Which to me is more important than loving or hating Trump because it’s on a personal level. All the other dissonance is one thing – forgetting manners and courtesy and order and believing the rules apply to everyone else but not me is the cornerstone of what’s wrong. Common courtesy and reasonable discourse swirled the bowl long ago. That’s the shame. I won;t lose a friend over wanting to keep their oil money or vote for a politician who wants to give it all away. That’s their business. It’s not my job to “right their thinking.” It’s my job to get through a breakfast taco with laughter and war stories without stepping off into a minefield made up of bullshit and half truths.
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